About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
