do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
