its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
