I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
