Non-Jews are for practice
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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