I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I wish you could order shots online.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
