Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize