Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
