Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
