I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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