i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
