What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this beer tastes like vomit already
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
