I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
