god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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