I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize