I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
