kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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