ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
