I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
