You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
