look no pants
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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