Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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