it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Naked. naked and bneed help.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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