too bad you live with your parents still
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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