Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I love having hate sex.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
