Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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