he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
