nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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