So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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