where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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