what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
