Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i think i just naturally attract stoners
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize