Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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