no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
