Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
