You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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