So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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