She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
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