I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
