Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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