Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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