When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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