so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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