i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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