Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
