your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
