well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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