We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i believe in u and ur pee
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
