she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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