I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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