stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
