Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I still have a little drunk in my system
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
