Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
