its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You ruined the universe
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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