I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
