i would punch a child for taco bell
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
