you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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