he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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