ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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