More tranny stories later!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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