Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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