how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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