your room smells of hookers.
And success
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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