I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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