the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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