Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
