did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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