They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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