the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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