We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
