I met the friendliest cop last night
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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